I Lied

I'm doing another batch review. These are all critically acclaimed albums that other people have done a great job of reviewing. I am not going to waste your time and my time talking about how great they are when there are countless articles speaking about how great they are.
Some of these albums are fucking old, but they are still important.

TOOL -- LATERALUS
I'm not going to say a whole lot. If you do not know this album, at least one single from this album, you are ridiculous and should have your life examined. It is extremely heavy, emotionally and musically, and extremely influential.

BECK -- MIDNIGHT VULTURES
Personal favourite to play in a store because no one actually knows when this album came out. Tongue and cheek lyrics litter this funk infused marvel of funky soundscapes. This is a great soundtrack to a good day. It is an even better soundtrack to make fun of a sexy night. If you have a friend that brags about getting laid often, and we all have at least one of those friends, this is a great thing to play behind everything they say. Side note, if you cannot think of who that friend is, it may be you. Well, that, or you have very reserved friends. Or no friends. That is cool, to.

And yes, this is my favourite video. Possibly ever.

BELLE AND SEBASTIAN -- FOLD YOUR HANDS CHILD, YOU WALK LIKE A PEASANT
Chamber pop, chamber pop, oh--laady laady laady..
This album defines what it means to be a British Lord. It is quiet and polite, yet speaks of horrible horrible things. Things like masturbating in public, war, relationships, blunt sexual acts, and homosexuality. It is so fucking awesome. The lyrics actually make one look up and say "uh... Did he just say what I think he said?" GUSH GUSH GUSH GUSH listen to this album GUSH GUSH GUSH GUSH.
CHANGE OF PACE. They can also be incredibly insightful and brutal. I Fought In A War is one of the greatest anti-war anthems to ever exist.

BOARDS OF CANADA -- MUSIC HAS A RIGHT TO CHILDREN
This album defies anything you know about anything. The only words and weird sound clips. The music sounds like a seventies soundtrack. Best on vinyl.

BRAND NEW -- THE DEVIL AND GOD ARE RAGING INSIDE ME
Fucking fuck. This album is so depressing, it should be illegal. Don't get me wrong: This album, lyrically and musically, will always be everything I wish to aspire to as a musician. I have always felt like I have not done enough for the music industry as a whole because I have not created something this great. I cannot even listen to the album while I write this because I will get sucked in by its haunting atmosphere and brilliant narrative. I almost do not want to FIND a track off this because it will break up the tension that this album generates. But I will. Just for you.

FLAMING LIPS -- YOSHIMI BATTLES THE PINK ROBOTS
The polar opposite from the other album I brought up. This album is about a small Japanese girl and her battle with giant pink monster robots from the planet Mars. It is fun, strange, and a roaring good time.

GODSPEED YOU! BLACK EMPEROR -- F# A# (INFINITY)
Only three tracks. Only amazing. The world this album creates is just haunting and robust. Incredibly minimalist, but very, very bleak. The phrase "Chamber-Punk" was coined to describe what this could be considered. It is similar to classical, but all the musicians learned their instrument while composing these songs. This is a great soundtrack to a man, sitting in a chair, smoking a cigar, not talking.

KING COBB STEELY -- MAYDAY
This album was a random find a while ago. I heard the song "Below The Stars" while randomly channel surfing one day. They are this odd combination of jazz and electronica. Rather unlike anything I have ever heard before, ten year old me took note sub consciously. I eventually found the album and I have not really stopped listening to it since.

ISIS -- IN THE ABSENCE OF TRUTH
This album has a great flow to it. I saw this band open for TOOL in Toronto. They moved a lot more than I could while keeping count to time signatures I would have a hard time following, let alone writing.

NINE INCH NAILS -- THE DOWNWARD SPIRAL (2004 dlx edition)
Incredibly influential. The first disc is the classic industrial album in all its glory, and the second disc was remixes and b-sides that may or may not have been released in the ten year window. I would not recommend the deluxe if you are not a huge fan or if you really do not care about high definition releases. This collection is still one of my favourites. Yes, Trent Reznor wrote Hurt. No, 'I WANNA FUCK YOU LIKE AN ANIMAL' is far from the sexiest line ever. No, that song is not actually about sex.

Fuck. I really do love writing this way. How many times now have I said "I WILL NEVER DO THIS AGAIN" but I just keep doing it? I have knocked my list from four and a half days worth of music down to two point seven days. That feels much better. I will continue to do my favourites. I'm having a lot of fun just listening to these with purpose further than "hurr gud musics hurr."

I do have two new albums, thanks to Jemma. I will talk about those soon. I will also have a huge health update as soon as I have hit some sort of milestone that other people may care about.

I will note that it was getting embarrassing, updating my Facebook with "I HAVE UPDATED MY BLOG" over and over again. So, I am no longer advertising. If you have found it on your own, or you actually like reading, please drop me a line some how. I would love to hear something from you. I am only MILDLY douchy...